The "I" Stage

In Human Development this semester we learned about Erikson's stages of Psychosocial development.  Not that it shows in the grade I made in the class, but I was very intrigued by these stages.  Erikson's theory said that from about ages 20 to 40 years old we are in a stage called Isolation vs Intimacy.  In this stage we are focused on how to overcome the fear of intimacy while hiding behind isolation.  We know it's easy and could be less painful if we keep our feelings isolated and not open up to others, but once we establish our identity we still have a desire to share ourselves with someone else.

Looking back at this stage I noticed that both of these words begin with the letter "I".  Being the over analytical person I am, it got me thinking.  This fear of rejection is really rather selfish?  Are we only pursuing things in regard for ourself?  What about the love we could bring to someone else?  Or the experience we could gain or provide for someone else, from something that might take us out of our comfort zone?

I think that it's important in this stage of life to pursue love, relationships, experiences, or our work for ourselves, but also to see what we can bring to the table for others.  We are afraid that society won't accept us, or that we'll end up alone, but really that fear only hurts us!

In this phase we need to be focused less on protecting ourselves and more on what we can bring to others.  Our career successes should benefit someone; whether it be our family or the world around us.  Our relationships should be strengthened by bringing out the best in ourselves as well as the other person we are in the relationship with.  And rejection, it will happen, but it should only grow us more.  Rejection should never be something we should fear, and fear should never be something to keep us from taking a chance on something that could change our lives forever.

"Everything In Moderation, Including Moderation"

We've all heard it, everyone preaches it, but who can say they really practice it?
Moderation.

It seems simple.  As long as we don't over indulge ourselves in one activity, food/drink, or individual we are practicing moderation... right?  Well yes, but it's much more complicated than that.  How often do we find ourselves obsessed with something?  Whether it's something new, some goal we are working toward, something we love, or someone we desire to be or be with all of the time, it's easy to let something that we are so fixated on consume us completely.

In my opinion, moderation starts with a list of priorities.  What are you going to give the most attention in your life?  Your work?  Your family?  Your faith?  Your friends?

Then you continue to work down from there.  But what happens when that new opportunity opens up at work and you have to stay all day and all night for the next 6 months and have to miss dinners with your family and friends or keeping in touch with the ones you care about?  Or when you have that favorite food or drink that you just cannot go a day without having but it really is hurting your body and keeping you from being in the shape you'd like to be in?  This is where moderation comes in.

It is important that we pursue our dream positions in our careers and that we enjoy the things we love in life, but we can't let these things exhaust us of all of our energy.  When it comes down to it, our careers or any materialistic item that we love or love to consume, won't do us any good when we're laying on our death bed (some of those things might even put us there).           

The list of priorities that I try my best to stick by goes like this:
      1.  My faith and God
      2.  Family and Friends/Relationships
      3.  My goals and dreams

That's not to say though, that I don't ever get distracted.  There are many times when I put my friends first and kind of forget about God, or even put my goals before my social life.  And sometimes we do have to make sacrifices, but it's important that we always have something that we keep as a priority.  As long as you have some general basis of morals or faith to guide you, I believe that having a healthy balance in the other of your life areas will come.  Of course, effort and discipline will always be necessary and something we need to be consciously applying, but as long as we don't forget the important, intangible things like love in relationships and faith in whatever it is we believe in, being able to balance and apply moderation in every other aspect of our lives will come.

So have that something you're passionate about.  Work for it.  Crush it.  But don't forget what really matters and who really matters.  Make sure that what you love doesn't take over who you are.  In the end, your accomplishments won't be worth it if you have no one to share them with, you won't be able to surround yourself by good people if you don't have a basic set of morals behind you, and after this world is all said and done, your faith/beliefs is all you've got.  If you can find a way to balance, prioritize, and use moderation in these areas, I think that is the key to being happy in life.  

1 Corinthians 9:25

  

"There's No Such Thing"

In John Mayer's song, No Such Thing, there is a line that states, "I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, Just a lie you've got to rise above."  When I was younger that line always confused me.  I was convinced there was a real world.  That was what Mom and Dad lived in right?  And all of those other adult people?   

Well just recently I've come up with a better understanding of this line.  I think Mayer is exactly right in that this whole concept of the real world really doesn't exist.  I mean to an extent, yes, life gets harder and we are steadily gaining more responsibility, but the actual concept that the real world is any different than the world we're currently living in is far from the truth.

Every move we make in any stage of life, effects our future.  When we're younger our parents have more control over what we do or take part in, but even then our parents' actions take part in how we will mature as an adult in this world.  Then in high school we have even more responsibility and control of our futures when we decide on a college and what we want to do in our futures.  

So to say that we don't actually enter the real world until after high school, when we get a job, or once we get married seems ridiculous to me.  I think starting out we do need guidance, and we are slowly eased into making our own decisions, but as far is our future is concerned, every step we take - whether we make it fully on our own or not - plays a role.  

As young adults (or really any one at any age) we can't wait until we enter this intangible real world to start living and pursuing our ambitions.  We can't stay inside the lines and wait for the real world and our future to come to us.  We have to work for it.  We have to dream of it.  We have to have a desire for it.  The real world is now.  We need to act like it.  

Home

If you asked me where I call home, I'm not exactly sure I could give you a straight answer.  Born in Mississippi, raised in Arizona, and now trying to make a home for myself in the great state of Texas, I have been fortunate enough to have multiple places that I can call home.

When I was just 5 years old I remember so vividly being told we were moving from Mississippi to Arizona.  I'm not really sure how - at that age - I had such a strong attachment to Mississippi, but I was not happy about leaving.  As I grew older  I made friends and realized that the move was not actually the worst thing that could have happened to me.  Don't get me wrong, I still to this day have tried to find ways to go back and stay connected to my southern roots in just about every way I possibly can, but what I've realized is that being able to feel at home in this many places is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  

Living in all these places (yes, I know a solid 3 is just a ton) has taught me a lot about what it means to call a place home.  What I've learned is that home really is more than just a place.

Home isn't just that place, it's the memories you made in that place and the people you made them with.

Home is that group of people you can always come to that will always be excited to see you.

Home is that place you can go to and everything just goes right back to the way they were the last time you were there.

Home is that place you will always feel connected to no matter what changes you go through in life.

Home is really just more of a feeling.  More of a safety net.  I think having a place or places that you can call home is so important, but I also think it has been a huge part of my life to step out of that place. Staying connected to my roots, while still stepping out of my comfort zone has shaped me and allowed me to grow in so many ways.  I'm not sure exactly where my future home will be, but I do know I will always have my past homes to guide me in what to look for as I begin my adult life.  

Righteousness and Wrongness

All throughout high school I really didn't do much of anything wrong.  I never got a detention, didn't fail any classes, and definitely didn't do anything to get in trouble for on the weekends (except maybe try and get my 10:00 curfew changed a couple of times).  I mean I fought with my parents and got my phone taken away a couple of times, but really the only thing I was ever really seriously punished for was six-putting and in a way, that worked in my favor too!

Because I never did anything wrong though, I tended to judge people who did - or did what I thought was wrong.  When my closest friends started going off to college and doing these things that I was just so against, I judged them.  I told them to stop.  I told them I didn't know who they were anymore.  I basically was letting something that I was afraid of ruin our friendship.  Now let me just take a moment to say that my friends really weren't doing anything that crazy at all...Like I was uncomfortable with people going to parties, just cause I thought that just meant bad things.  It in fact, does not.

As I began my college career I was still skeptical on where I stood on some things.  My friends forgave me for harassing them to no end, but it was still up in the air as to what I really thought about this whole college thing.  What is right really?  And what makes something wrong?

Going through these past two years I have met so many people, who believe so many different things, and I have grown more than I could ever imagine possible in such a short period of time.  I've been amazed by how many different views of right and wrong there are, and how my own views have changed as well.  Essentially what I think I've learned is that, I don't really think anyone knows for sure how to define right and wrong.  Who are we to decide that anyways?  Not to say that we shouldn't have our own sets of morals and stay strong in our faith, but even still, who are we to judge?

My family are people I look up to so much as role models on how to model a Christian life, but I can't say I live it out perfectly.  I also can't say I agree %100 with everything they believe.  That's not what I think is important though.  What I think is important is that, as Christians (and I think most faiths in general), it is our job to be forgiving and loving to one another regardless of the circumstance.  Unconditional love.  That's what we're taught.  If someone I love is doing something I believe to be wrong I will undoubtedly let them know, but I will try and do so in a way that doesn't impose judgement, but instead provides assistance.  I'd expect anyone who loves me to do the same.  It's not an easy thing to do, and I've definitely failed in the past, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, right and wrong only matter to an extent.  Everyone will never agree on everything.  Not that we should surround ourselves by people who disagree with us on everything and have no morals, but I think there's a happy medium to be found.  By and large, I think it's our job to not let ourselves become caught up in the wrong, but also not to find ourselves becoming self-righteous in what we believe to be right.

How Many Likes Did You Get?

So the other day I posted something on Facebook.  The next time I logged on (5...10 minutes later), I hadn't gotten any likes!  I thought to myself...okay, it's late, maybe people aren't awake.  Then I remembered it was finals week and I was like wait, no everyone is on Facebook right now.  I quickly found myself going to my profile to delete my "unliked" and just awkward post, but then I stopped.  Was I really about to delete a post because it didn't get any likes!??

I felt ridiculous, but it really got me thinking.  Why do we post things on Facebook?  Or Twitter, or Instagram, or any social media for that matter?  Is it because we genuinely want to share our thoughts and stay connected with our family and friends?  Or do we secretly post these things in hopes that people will "like" or approve of them to provide ourselves with some sense of satisfaction to know that people think we are funny or inspiring?

As a whole, I think social media is a great thing.  I love being able to see pictures and posts from my close family and friends that I can't actually be with in person all the time or even more than once or twice a year.  In that sense, I find it extremely beneficial and connecting.  On the other hand though, there are things that I post that make me think, "What good is this actually doing?"  Or, "Is this post really an accurate portrayal of me?"  I often wonder what someone who didn't know me would think of me if they saw my profile.  Would it be someone I'm proud of?  Would it be who I really am?

90% of the time, on any of the social media I am active on, I am just being ridiculously sarcastic or attempting to be amusing.  Usually when I go back and reread my posts I'm just like that was completely unnecessary, but I do enjoy entertaining people so I'd like to think someone gets a good laugh.  Then other times I will post something more serious or meaningful, and I really do mean them, but I often catch myself thinking, "Am I really living this out?"  In a way, I think what I'm trying to say is that, in order to benefit to our fullest from social media, we need to let it hold us accountable.  Make sure we're not just posting things to see how many likes we get or to show someone how much better our life is than there's.  Instead, I want to try and focus on making sure that if I'm going to post something, then if someone asks me why I said that, I'm going to have a reason, a story, and something I learned from it.  Saying that, the sarcastic and ridiculous posts probably won't stop considering...most of those I pretty much live out.

I think it's good to share.  I think it's great to stay connected.  I think it's good to be proud of our accomplishments.  But let's make sure we can back ourselves up.  Share things that truly inspire you.  Stay connected, not competitive.  And be proud, but remember to stay thankful and humble.  Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are incredibly things that constantly reminds us that we have an amazing network of people who care about us and support us.  Let's not abuse that support and let's remember that that's not our only form of support.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Side note: the post that received no likes....was set on private....oops :)

Why Nursing?

When someone asks you what your major is, they often follow up with something along the lines of, "Oh really, what made you decide on that?"  When people ask me why I chose to be a Nursing major with a minor in Business Administration I usually respond with something very vague like, "I just like how there are so many options in nursing," or I try and be witty and say, "Well, I was originally undecided so I just kind of declared something that allowed me to cover all my bases while still being undecided about what I want to do with my life."  Neither of which, really answer the question.  Then I get the, "Why would you choose to leave Baylor??," "Change your major!!," or a list of other options I could choose to allow me to stay in Waco for two more years.  So I've been thinking I should probably come up with an answer so that people don't just think I'm sticking with it because I think it's too late to back out now...

Starting from the beginning, I've always been somewhat interested in the medical field.  For a long time I was more interested in caring for animals and becoming a Veterinarian, but when I realized that meant I could potentially have to be putting animals down, I decided it wasn't for me.  Grant it being a nurse I will still have to face life or death situations probably on multiple occasions, for some reason the idea of putting an animal to sleep when they have no way of knowing what's going on just kills me.  That's when I started looking at other options; and when I say other options, I mean I think I've considered absolutely anything and everything.  I thought about being an architect for about a month in high school because I like designing things, then I realized I hated math.  I thought about doing something in athletics like being a trainer or study specifically in sports' medicine, but I didn't really feel confident that I could go somewhere with that either (not that you can't! just wasn't for me).  Pre-med was way too much schooling and I'm really not a fan of Chemistry.  I thought swimming with dolphins might be kind of cool for a while too, but I'm not super great at Biology or swimming so I decided I'm fine with just watching and petting occasionally.  I also seriously considered Physical Therapy but realized my GPA wasn't quite up to par with those grad schools either.    

So at this point it looks like I chose nursing simply because it's the only thing I felt like I could do...  That's not completely the case.  I'm still not even 100% I can do nursing school either!  I think the main
reason I've continued to come back to nursing though is that I know I will be able to see my results and feel like I'm doing something important and helping someone.  I also hope that nursing will keep me grounded.  Because I will be dealing with life and death matters I think it will allow me to remember what is really important in life.  I know the amount of options nursing offers is a huge part of my decision, but I'd like to think that the fact that I will be helping people is a huge part as well.  I also know that I will have the option to travel with nursing and I think that might be something I'm interested in trying for a little bit.  Another reason I hope/think nursing will be a good fit for me, that my mom likes to point out, is that I don't tend to freak out about things.  Ask any of my family and friends and they'll probably tell you that me showing emotion is just hard to come by in general sometimes!  Naturally though I just have a kind of laid back demeanor (for the most part at least), and I think it will be good for whenever I am faced with stressful or hectic situations in this field.  Mostly, I like that once I complete nursing school I will be able to help someone.  I like that I won't ever have to just stand and watch if something bad is happening.  I think I even like that it's a challenge for me (which I will probably sarcastically complain about via twitter for the next two years of my life).

Overall, yes, nursing is my decision for practical reasons like making a decent living, only having to complete four years of schooling, and I am for the most part, too far into it to change now... but I really do feel like it's what I'm supposed to be doing.  Whether I actually end up working in a hospital or whether I end up working more on the business side, I have no idea yet.  For all I know I may start my own organization and travel the world as a medical missionary.  Or I may get to nursing school and realize that it's not for me!  Not exactly sure what I'd do then, and my parents would probably kill me, but for right now, I'm just going with what feels right.

Leaving Baylor will never sound particularly appealing, but as I said in my previous post, I think I will be surrounded by the Baylor community in Dallas just as I have here in Waco.  Leaving people I've just begun to grow close with sounds semi-depressing now, but I know I won't be far, and I also know that people come and go in our lives, and the ones that are meant to stay, will.  And leaving a place and life I've just now finally become comfortable with, to start over again does seem rather frightening, but I think it will be good for me.

Jeremiah 29:11