The "I" Stage

In Human Development this semester we learned about Erikson's stages of Psychosocial development.  Not that it shows in the grade I made in the class, but I was very intrigued by these stages.  Erikson's theory said that from about ages 20 to 40 years old we are in a stage called Isolation vs Intimacy.  In this stage we are focused on how to overcome the fear of intimacy while hiding behind isolation.  We know it's easy and could be less painful if we keep our feelings isolated and not open up to others, but once we establish our identity we still have a desire to share ourselves with someone else.

Looking back at this stage I noticed that both of these words begin with the letter "I".  Being the over analytical person I am, it got me thinking.  This fear of rejection is really rather selfish?  Are we only pursuing things in regard for ourself?  What about the love we could bring to someone else?  Or the experience we could gain or provide for someone else, from something that might take us out of our comfort zone?

I think that it's important in this stage of life to pursue love, relationships, experiences, or our work for ourselves, but also to see what we can bring to the table for others.  We are afraid that society won't accept us, or that we'll end up alone, but really that fear only hurts us!

In this phase we need to be focused less on protecting ourselves and more on what we can bring to others.  Our career successes should benefit someone; whether it be our family or the world around us.  Our relationships should be strengthened by bringing out the best in ourselves as well as the other person we are in the relationship with.  And rejection, it will happen, but it should only grow us more.  Rejection should never be something we should fear, and fear should never be something to keep us from taking a chance on something that could change our lives forever.