What To Do If You Find A Lizard In Your Kitchen Sink...

If you're like me, sometimes you wake up in the mornings and find small creatures in your kitchen sink.  If you're not, I envy you.

This morning, as any of you who are friends with me know, I found a small lizard in my kitchen sink.  It was a monstrous 2 inches max in length and had beady eyes that resembled that of a beanie baby, except smaller.  Unfortunately I have this horrible phobia of any reptile that can move faster than me.  Mainly frogs, but I apparently am not good with lizards either.  I don't know what it is.  Just the sight of them near me is such a horrifying experience.  I start shaking and just have a strong urge to jump on top of things and scream (even though they can still get to me!!!).  Maybe it's just a "girly" thing or maybe I just have some sort of mental complex but it's awful.  I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

So naturally, when I am faced with a problem that, yes I am terrified by, but I also find semi comical, I rant about it on social media.  Tweets...statuses...blog post... you name it.  Essentially though, that does nothing.  Except maybe provide you all with some laughs, I hope.

When I saw it at first, I really hoped it was just too early and I was imagining things.  That however was not the case.  So then I thought, "Okay, maybe I can trap it under a cup...and it'll just die."  I don't know how that was logical but maybe I was hoping for a heart attack or something.  Most people think trap under a cup then remove it from your house but I could barely stand the thought of just putting a cup on it.  My thought process was more like, "What if it was too fast and jumped on the cup and then onto me!?!??  That would NOT be okay."

Finally, I got up the courage to smash the cup over it.  It was trapped.  I couldn't feel it but it had to be there.  I had to go to class so I put the dish soap on top of it and left it so it couldn't escape.

I came home to realize I still had an issue to deal with.  After staring at the cup for a very long few minutes I decided to try and slip the dust pan under the cup and trap it and then I could finally get it outside.  But it was too fast!!!  It didn't stay in the cup and was back in the sink.  When I saw it I dropped the dust pan and cup and jumped back so it wouldn't touch me.

After this failure, I was at a loss.  There was no way I was getting the dust pan or cup back, and the stupid thing had shelter now.  After jumping up and down, screaming, and pacing around my kitchen, alone...There was only one thing left to do.  Call Mom.  Who, as expected, told me to trap it and throw it outside (anticlimactic I know.  I was really hoping she'd fly out and deal with this for me).

So, as you see, that just hasn't happened yet for me.  Fortunately the lizard can't seem to climb out of my sink because it's so slippery, and I really hope it stays that way.  I may be forced to evacuate my home if it escapes.  But on a brighter note, maintenance has been called, and they will get to laugh at me tomorrow when they arrive and see how tiny the thing is.  And I will blankly stare at them, from afar, until it is removed.

Clearly, I am not mature enough to live on my own.

What To Do When You're Stranded At The Airport

For starters I'd like to say I could be doing my Management homework, but I found this much more entertaining. 

So, what do you do when you're stuck in the airport?  Well luckily I've had quite some experience in this area so I'm basically an expert.  First, you will get off the plane and go over to the monitor.  You'll find your flight on the screen and look over to the right and see the word "CANCELLED" in all red or yellow or whatever lovely color they choose that day.  You'll check the monitor over and over, you'll check your flight number, but unfortunately...that really is your flight in red, and you really are stranded.  

Then you'll wander over to the gate attendant and be like, "Yo, why you have to cancel my flight?"  And then he'll be like, "Yo, I'm a pilot we don't do that."  Then you'll find the real gate attendant and they'll be like, "It wasn't me I swear!"  So you go through your options, see if there's a later flight and so on and so forth.  Sometimes you'll get to spend the night in the airport in the oh so luxurious gate chairs (they have improved I will say that), and then other times you have that unfortunate realization that you are in fact stuck, and there are no options for you.  That's when you catch yourself standing at the random gate you decided to stop and ask for help at and think to yourself, "Where do I go now?"

Usually the next option is to go and rent a car and drive to your destination.  Which, if you're as lucky as I am, you are not actually old enough to do.  After you are rejected from five different rental car companies you will begin to feel somewhat inadequate; helpless in a way.  You'll think to yourself, "If I can't rent a car, what can I do?"  You'll take this inadequate feeling out on your mother who swears that she can rent a car as a 20-yr old online, and just demand that she's wrong even though all she's trying to do is help.

Then you'll kind of snap out of it and begin contacting everyone you know in the state where you are currently stranded.  If you're as fortunate as I am, you will actually have friends to come and rescue you from this horrible spiral downward that could potentially lead to a night on the streets.  

After being rescued you'll probably wake up and remember you have no luggage.  Aka no belongings of any sort other than what you had on your back or in your purse the day before.  It truly is a humbling experience.  

All in all, if you don't have friends, or aren't above the meager age of 20, you're out of luck.  I guess you could get a hotel, but that just seems boring and lonely.  Not that sitting here and blogging isn't...